On Death

You know, the thing that comes after life. The negative space that gives mortality its mass. The fade.

Maybe you've seen it up close. Maybe recently, maybe not. Maybe you've never seen it, not really-- just heard it, vaguely approaching in muffled rhythm, threatening to ruin a perfectly good year or two or seventy.

Maybe none of the above. Maybe it's YOUR turn. Well, you know,

damn.

That sucks. I'm sorry to hear that. Nothing will ever be the same without you, whoever you are. You'll have to let me know how it is; I can think of a few people that would be prime candidates for possession, should you need a break from the choir music/torture/nothingness/everythingness/virgins/etc. If that sounds unpleasant (would you REALLY want to be trapped in Anne Coulter's body for any length of time? Oh, stop giggling and/or gagging), we could always do a "Ghostwriter" thing and invest in some ABC fridge magnets and letter blocks:

TOO MANY RACISTS


NOT REALLY VIRGINS


STAY GOLD PONYBOY


BUT I'D PREFER LIBERTY


OHM


OWCH


BEETLEJUICE



You know, have fun with it. I'll be here. Take your time, of course! And if you don't make it down(/up/around/amidst/beyond), I'll understand. I mean, why bother coming back when you've got infinite bliss/everyone who's ever lived/ultimate enlightenment/the abyss/burning shackles/ahem, virgins keeping you company. Whatever.

I get it.

You know what? Fine, be that way. I thought we were bros, but no, just... whatever. See if I wear black to your funeral. See if I don't write an epic epitaph and play that song you love. See if I don't love you anyway. But damn, dude. Really?

Why don't you just stay, instead? We've got all that stuff here! Well, not ALL of it, but cable! And jetskis! And that new yogurt place just opened!

Don't go. Just hold your horses. Slow your roll.

We've never seen anyone quite like you, and we'll really just miss you like hell. Let's go see a sunrise or something. Tour Yosemite. Volunteer somewhere. Have a nice meal. Maybe go to confession.

I know I haven't been very good at being there lately, but it's not because I don't care. Everyone gets stuck sometimes, and I'm one of the ones that can use a push in the right direction every now and then. It's no excuse, but I mean no offense by it. I like you. I really do.

So hey, just stick around awhile. You. All of you. It might get a little crowded if you really do stick around, but we'll figure something out. Get bunk-beds or something. Shop in bulk.